Dead beat baby daddy

Sometimes I have the misfortune of having to listen to males gripe about having to pay child support. I suppose it irritates me having come from a family of many dead beat dads. One particularly heinous man told the judge after being arrested for non-support, "Put me in jail, I got more time than I do money." Growing up listening to family members crying because their dad drank up the child support check and the kids couldn't even afford toilet paper in the house. Long ago I got fed up with the excuses. You have a child, support it.

Ask one of these jokers what they're doing when they hop in bed with some chick, "I'm just having fun." Adding another notch to the handle, are you? Maybe you need a tire tool applied to your cranium. Sometimes I wish society would get so fed up with the nonsense, that they would line up like that scene in Airplane wanting to take a weapon of some kind to the perpetrators. But the truth is, you could hit one of these dead beats so hard that their rear end turned to lard and it would not make a positive IQ gain.

In fairness I do understand that some mom's don't make it easy. When you get a call talking about, "Where's my check? Me and my Mack are going out tonight and we need the money," it can be tough to want to pay. After all, the money isn't for her to blow on a night of wild partying; it's for the kids. Just keep in mind, you pay and do your part and it's on her what she does with the money. Keep your receipts so the kids and the courts know you paid.  

Falling out of love

One of the reasons why young marriages fail is that the two parties are too immature to get along with each other and maintain a sense of romance. They think that "love" is that feeling they had for one another when they were dating. When they dated they always had their best foot forward. He was bromance and she was sister mack. They stepped to each other wearing their best smile, attitude, clothes and manners. Fresh out of a romance novel she had feelings of ecstasy super-imposing her favorite romantic over the top of her boyfriend. He imagined her to be the sweetheart of a thousand of his dreams. They put on real good for a while, but it was a front. And because we as human beings often like to be played, they believed all the fakery and called it "love." They saw each other as the best thing since the iphone. It would be comical if it were not so serious. For example:

1. He never let her go in the bathroom after he blew it up. 

2. She never let him see her without making herself up.

3. He never raised his voice at her.

4. She acted as docile and harmless as a tranquilized panda bear.

 This is a short and silly list, but you get the point. Believe this, once married, the "real you" will come out. Unable to keep the best foot forward all the time the other person begins to see somebody different than the one they idealized while dating. You stink and get irritable, just for starters. The more comfortable you get with one another the more you let your guard down. Soon the two begin to "fall out of love". 

Recently a young man came to me talking about his wife telling him, "You ain't my dad!" He had given his wife control of the money not knowing she was irresponsible. After all, she looked real good in that shirt and jeans, surely she can handle money. Pretty soon she has 4-5 overdraft charges at $30 each and they have no money. Used to getting what she wanted, she just bought it. He finds out and takes the debit and credit cards. Guess what she says? "You ain't my dad!" Really? And this was just for starters. She would drife at high rates of speed and he would say, "Slow down before we get a ticket!" Her comeback? "You aint my dad!" That became her battle cry every time she did something foolish and he had to say something. He could keep quiet, but she would probably be in jail. 

While you're probably wanting to ask "what's the other side of this story" I want to make a point here. What is wrong with this picture? How long do you think they will have romantic feelings for each other when there is no common sense, responsibility or discipline in the relationship? "You aint my dad" is a 14 year old talking. She expects him to woo and coo, but he is too aggravated to be anything but angry. She gets resentful and begins to hate him because he is always having to deal with this stuff. That or just let it go and that's not an option. What happens? They fall out of love.